Blogger needs an iPhone app..

I think someone needs to get on that, like pronto. So many times in the past two weeks i've had the urge to blog, but haven't been able to jump on the computer. And apparently my phone isn't capable of letting me blog through the enternet explorer safari...complete fail.

I feel like i'm being tested..like this past two weeks have been a test. I feel invaded. I feel like this blog might be invaded, thus preventing me from expressing how i feel right about now. My lack of privacy is scarce, and for the first time in a really long time i feel claustrophobic. I find myself now more then ever having to take deep breaths to calm myself, or walking out of my room to get away from it. It won't last forever, but right now, forever feels like this past couple weeks.

Does that make me self righteous? People seem to think so. Since when has being self righteous been a bad thing? I suppose it's to be determined. I just....ugh.

Side note, I'm twenty now. I don't think twenty's old, do you? I don't like being called old, that or short. This week i've been called both. I don't like it...maybe i'm just being overly sensitive. Maybe i don't feel old because i'm still getting told what to do like a kid. I can't wait to go away to college and assert myself.

I'm not being emo, i swear...it's just i don't know who to talk to this about, but i need to get it out some how..


Sigh.

I have the urge..

To write something, even though i really have nothing to say...or maybe that's my subconcious telling me i have something to say.

School starts next week, i am stoked...there is nothing like staying at home and doing the same mundane tasks that makes you miss school. I'm a little nervous about taking five classes this semester, but i think i've got this..i have to. I feel like i should be getting ready to recieve acceptance letters from schools i should've applied for last semester, but i'm not. I recognize people are not the same, and do things at their own pace, but there's still that thought in the back of my head nagging. Like, ugh, i don't know. I guess i'm more annoyed at it then upset, i'll get over it once i start school.

Speaking of next week, i turn 20 next weekend. Holllllller! I think i'm more excited for that nights festivities then anything else. How weird that Jackson and his band '100 monkeys' plan a show the day of my birthday on a whim? Crazy..i'm exicted. Joey's manager is trying to get X ammounts of backstage passes for us. I don't know how i'll feel if that X is just one, and it's only me going back there. Can you say awkward? like, especially if i walk in on something i don't want to see. Or like if i run into someone, maybe a twilight cast member? i don't know..i'm thinking to much into it considering it's not a done deal.

Lastly, something i feel i want to talk about..i hate when i can't help someone. And by someone, i mean my family.. times get hard, and things go wrong, but in the end it'll all be okay. But when in the middle of a storm, it sucks when your umbrella breaks..though the optimist in me is saying atleast lightening hasn't striken.

Guess that's all i have to say for now. Until next time..